You know you’ve got the fishing bug bad if...
- You reason that a 90 percent chance of severe thunderstorms actually means that there is a 10 percent chance of having really excellent fishing weather.
- Your mailbox is a giant fiberglass bass.
- Your spouse has to drag you out of bed at 8 a.m. to go to work, but you can wake up at 4:30 a.m. on weekends without an alarm clock.
- Someone says they have had a real tragedy in the family and you think they broke their Ambassador 5000.
- Your boat costs more than your house.
- You have more nicks and cuts on your hands - from fishhooks, fish spines and filleting - than someone who hand-captures bobcats for a living.
- You have more than 20 of any one lure in the same color.
- Your hair still has a hat dent in it even after you shampoo and blow dry.
- Your cat likes hanging out with you because of the smell.
- You tell your fishing buddy, "Hold on, I’ve almost got him in" when he is having a heart attack.You tell your fishing buddy, "Hold on, I’ve almost got him in" when he is having a heart attack.
- You look back over the last month and realize that you have kissed a bass (in celebration ala Bill Dance) more times than you have smooched your spouse.
- You have named more than one fish swimming free in your lake.
- You have any dogs or kids named Shakespeare, Zebco or Daiwa.
- You have considered becoming a teacher so you can fish every day during the summer.
- You have more fishing rods than socks or underwear without holes in them.
- Your idea for the honeymoon cruise was a weeklong head boat fishing excursion with 25 other anglers.
- When your spouse asks if you are planning on going fishing this coming weekend, you laugh and say, "Good one Honey."
- You can tie a Bimini twist when drunk and blindfolded, but your Windsor tie knot looks like a snake that ate a gopher.
- When you die and you’re at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter asks if you want to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and you ask, "How’s the fishing?"
- Your outboard motor goes in for a preventive checkup more often than you do.
- Your entire leisure wardrobe consists of two Guy Harvey fish T-shirts, a ratty pair of shorts with pockets everywhere, and one pro bass "billboard" fishing shirt signed by Roland Martin that you are afraid to wash.
- You have a yardstick tattooed on your arm that highlights various legal fish lengths.
- You are the one sitting in the last pew at church wearing a hat festooned with lures, holding an upright fishing rod.
- You’ve eaten so many fish that have mercury in them you can tell the temperature without a thermometer.
- Your spouse says "It’s either me or fishing" and your reply is a prolonged humming sound.
- You have read this column and said, "Doesn’t everybody?"
- And lastly, fishing has been a family tradition for years and you are planning on passing it on to the next generation.
